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Social Media Marketing – The REST OF THE STORY on How to Become a “Social Media Expert” in 24 hours




He called back.

He called back again.

He called back once again.

This so called “Social Media Expert” from the  I posted has now renamed himself. Amazing transformation. He sent me an email recently telling me that I had a “gift” waiting and needed to act NOW before 11:57 pm TONIGHT–or the offer would be CUT OFF –>   FOREVER.

Wow- that’s a long time.

Below is part of the LONG LONG LONG SALES PITCHING HIS REAR END OFF email: (WARNING: The ending revelations he gives about some folks will SHOCK YOU.)

We have written a lot of posts that are serious- and hopefully informative- and helpful. But sometimes, something comes along -that is SO WRONG- that you just have to write about it to clear your head from it.

This is such a thing.

Here is part of this this whack job’s email:

“Doug-Future Social Media Champion!

Here is my million dollar question to you: How often do you get to work with a REAL genius with a REAL gift for what he does that   no one else can offer? 

How often does it come around that you can change your entire life with just ONE exposure to what this genius has to offer? 

I will teach you everything you need to know to become a Social Media Rockstar Overnight! And I KNOW how to do that and all you need to do is hitch your wagon to my STAR! It will happen OVERNIGHT!

You read that correctly my friend- OVERNIGHT! 

And I am going to teach you personally and as my gift to YOU- I am going to give you a 15 minute FREE consultation with ME and you will see the Value that my information as well as my webinar has for you.

It is genius.”

Ok…I thought. Let’s go ahead and take this Social Media Expert transformed into NOW a Social Media Genius- appointment- oh yeah – and see how it goes.

(Full Disclosure: I have a full recording of this “consultation” and am still shaking my head. I had part of the recording transcribed for this post. What makes it so funny- this freak show actually happened.)

“Hello- Social Media Expert turned Genius here.”

Hi Sir. Doug here. I am here to sit at your feet and learn this thing called Social Media.”

<There was the courtesy 3 minutes of the typical warm up conversation.> Then…

“Well Doug, first off, I want to congratulate you. You have made a wise decision to spend this time with me as it will pay off handsomely. To begin with, I hope that you get this next statement-what I want to do is to get you to understand EXACTLY what Social Media is and is NOT. You must think out of the box in this thing called the social sphere or what I call the Yourspace. There are many things I would love to reveal to you, but this is simply not the time or place. But if you join us on the webinar i am doing, you will find that everything you have to ask me-will be answered. ”

“I am an out of the box thinker, as you probably can tell. Success is an out of the box result. You need to think out of the box as I said. I like to use what is called ‘anchors’ with people, and on the webinar you will find out exactly how to do that and what they are. But that is up to you to decide to achieve the Success I have obtained so quickly. Think BATHROOM when you think of  Social media.


You MUST have a sense of urgency and prompt action that will impress people. This is so important. Many people are looking for someone like you that can take quick action and become friends with them and then you can market to them. That’s is how it works. You get as many friends as you can as quick as you can and much like a quick spin into the bathroom, you exit out as soon as possible. I like to use metaphors that anchor into your sub-concious Doug, that can maybe be a little shocking, and you will remember that metaphor I promise.  I am looking for that kind of potential social media rockstar- one that takes quick action and pulls out his credit card and says- yes! I am the next social media star in the land and I will attend this webinar! I am worth it!”

“Now, if you do not mind, let me ask you a couple of questions:

 ”IF you WERE going to attend this webinar i am doing, who are the three people you would want to attend with you? As my gift- I will gift them half price tickets with your full purchase of the $1000.00 webinar. Again, that is a steal my man.”

OK- I thought. Rocking Hot! Let’s have some fun.

I named:    2) . 3)

(NOTE: Mr Social Media expert turned genius did not remember Chris from our

“Ok, tell me about your friends—who are they?”   <WHAT???>

“You do not know who is? We already talked about him the first time we discussed this.”

Silence on the other end. Then an irritated long rustling.

“Yep- you are right. I looked him up – I forgot who he was because of all the people I do know and as a matter of fact, he has a great ebook out- called “The Social Media Manifestive.” Loved it- read it twice.” 

Oh yeah.

‘You do not know who is?”

“You caught me off guard Doug. Understand my man, it’s been a long day. I have been teaching a lot of new rockstars. Of course I do. Come on. He is the creator of facebook. Everyone knows that.”  <WHAT???>

Here we go again.

‘Do you know who

“Come on- are you trying to pi** me off? Scott is one the many Social Media folks at General Motors in Michigan and I have had enough of this —-. I know them all and have talked with them all as well. Let’s get back to the point I was making. IF you purchase the $1000.00 webinar today, I will LET Chris and Scott attend -or I will even make the exception that it can be friends of theirs–or even yours–for half price as my way of helping you.”

NOTE: Robert was no longer invited. He has

I finally asked him one more question-out of curiosity:

“Social media Genius sir- just curious-how LONG have you been in social media?”

“I have been in since the creation of the biggest social media site out there – myspace- and that was created in 1998 and I was there from the very beginning. My experience speaks for itself.” <Now THAT is the truth.>

NOTE: That was 5 years before the launch of myspace and facebook has taken over as the largest.

‘Ok- I will attend your webinar. But what I want to do now is let you know that I have recorded this consultation as my way of learning from you- and I am going to put this up on my blog so others can learn from you as well. I really appreciate your time. I will send Robert, Chris, and Scott a copy as well and I am sure they will be glad to hear from you!”

Whoops- WRONG thing to say. My bad.

I am NOT going to reveal what he said before he hung up – but it was along the lines of threatening to sue me because I was a “scam artist” trying to scam him out of good people attending his webinar by trying to copy his own business model to others!


And he WAS going to call Chris Brogan, Scott Monty, and Robert Scoble to tell them that I was a nothing, a fraud, and a leech, and that I was HISTORY in social media. “All that I have taught you is copyrighted and MINE. I will sue you if you put it up or give it out to anyone without first attending my webinar!”



This is the type of B.S. (stands for Belief Systems) that is out there and we all need to get rid of it. Social media is a gift- a TRUE gift- and we all need to see past the “social media experts turned genius” and create an environment that has three things for all:

1) Total Truth.

Lets get REAL and Honest with folks and tell the truth about ourselves and NOT hide behind some ill begotten plan for fame and fortune. Yes, you can create a fortune online, but let’s do it from the truth of the matter- not deception. Wow- what a concept!

2) A Helping focus that helps people reach out to New Possibilities-not the same old ones.

This is critical. No one is above helping people online. And revealing new powerful directions and possibilities for folks that did not know they existed is the highest form of service in social media. Every “superstar” that is out in social media- has a helping hand out with folks. That is why they are where they are. They give and share with no agenda.

3) A Lifestyle of Lifting Up- not putting Down.

Social Media is about being an Elevator, not just an educator or entertainer. Encouragement is the single greatest weapon you have in social media against people like our “social media expert” who preys on people. Lifting Up should be a lifestyle that we all practice.

Lets cut through the hooey and get focused on what really matters:

People. Conversation. Connection. Elevation. Results that have Social Proof.

THAT will go a long way towards social media success.

Now…I gotta call Mr Scoble about the Terms Of Service change on facebook- that is JUST unacceptable.


FLASH —Update: On the future attendees of the “social media expert turned genius” webinar:

Robert Scoble was ? HIS own Social Site-the one he created from scratch? DANG!



The End. Thank God.

blessings…doug firebaugh

(c) 2009/ all rights reserved

Linda Barbara

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